My only goal with today's post is to hopefully inspire someone who's struggling and to seek help. It's no secret that depression and anxiety run in my family, pretty heavy actually. When I was younger those words were just something I would never say because it was the worst thing you could be; depressed and anxious.
Although I can honestly say I've never felt the level of depression that some experience, I have defiantly had my days where I'm 'down in the dumps' and it's not a good place to be. It usually starts out by one tiny little thing going wrong, and snowballs into a bunch of negative, nasty thoughts. You become your own worst enemy.
Recently I found myself in a 'funk'. On paper, I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I have an amazing job with wonderful people doing what I love, my family dynamic seemed mostly good at times, I'm engaged to the man of my dreams, and I still found myself wondering what my purpose here was, or why I didn't feel the way I used to. I didn't feel depressed but more anxious. I was so scared of the future and what was in store it actually was something I feared and didn't look forward to. I knew that wasn't normal. I hadn't been feeling that way that long before I decided to get help. And no I wasn't suicidal, just sick of feeling blue.
Here's the part where I preach. I sought out a therapist who I had been to 1 other time in the past but didn't continue going because I had 101 excuses. Once I got over the spending money part I was able to open that door and start the healing process. Sometimes in life you go through the motions of day-to-day things and you don't realize how certain things affect you more than you'll ever know. And someday out of the blue those things just sneak up on you if you don't deal with them and they bite you right in the ass. My biggest struggle in my life so far has been my sense of loss and abandonment. I've lost so many close friends in the last couple years, I found myself scared to make new friends in fear that I'd lose them. I've had so much of my family come in and out of my life at times I couldn't even trust in my family staying around. But I've been going to therapy now for a solid couple months and I am a believer. Even if you think you have no problems, therapy could truly help you.
If you are someone who thinks people that go to therapy are weird, mentally unstable, or suicidal; screw you. Seriously. You don't have to feel weird for going to a therapist and getting the tools you need to succeed in life and be the happiest god damn person you can be. I can guarantee you that life will knock you down. It will be unfair. You will always deal with shit you shouldn't have to deal with, and you will spend entirely too much time over thinking and overreacting to a bunch of bullshit. But life is all about your reaction. How you handle the hard punches, if you let life knock you down or you get back up and dust yourself off.
I am a huge believer in positive thinking and putting what you seek out into the universe. Call me a hippy, I know! But seriously! One thing that has helped me tremendously is keeping a Grateful Journal. Everyday I write down 5 things that I am grateful for. Somedays it's really hard to see the good, but others it's so easy. Once you get the hang of it you start seeing the glass half full instead of always close to empty. You start seeing the beauty that life has in everyday things. Give it a try, I dare you.
If your struggling right now, it's okay to ask for help. You have nothing to lose and only the world to gain.
